Dear Nathan....

Dear Nathan,

I cannot even begin to tell you how hard this month has been for me.  For the past 2 1/2 years I have been by your side, guiding you and watching you grow.  While we have spent a few nights away from each other, we were never apart for a prolonged period of time.  You were an extension of me and our worlds were intertwined.

This month you embarked on your own adventures, without me.  I knew it would happen, I just wasn't prepared to let you go so soon.  You are off having fun on your great grandparent's farm.  You can hardly contain your excitement as you tell me about the baby chicks, and the chickens and the countless other things you have seen.  You even passed the phone to the baby chickens so that I could talk to them.  That was very sweet.

You are doing things that every little boy needs to do.  You are playing in dirt.  You are playing with animals. You are exerting your independence.You are surrounded by family and people who love you.

I haven't been able to witness the countless changes that are happening in your life right now and I wonder if I will recognize the boy that returns from this wild adventure.

I know that this is the first of many adventures that you will embark on without me.  I just hope that you know that no matter how far you go that I will always be here for you.  I hope to be the constant in the amazing life you have ahead of you.

I might not always be in the same country as you, or even on the same side of the world, but we will always carry each other in our hearts.  I love you.

Linking up with Shell for Pour your Heart Out

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21 comments:

Susan said...

This is perfect.

Adrienne said...

Oh that TUG they do have on our HEARTS!!! Letting go is one of the hardest, hardest, hardest parts of this mommy "job" we have. SOOOO good for them, so hard on us! I promise the rewards are worth it in the long run!!!

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Oh I feel for you. How much longer do you have?

jeands said...

awww... this is a beautiful post/letter to nathan.

Colleen said...

I can feel how much you miss your little guy and yet also can see what a very good mother you are for allowing him this wonderful and rich experience. I hope the time passes quickly for you and you can give him a big hug soon!
Love from Norway!

Mark said...

If you make me cry I'll punch you in the face!
Love, m.

Missy said...

Sniff, sniff! Poor you. Happy him. Watching them grow up isn't as much fun on the parent side as it was growing up on the kid side, is it?

Robbie K said...

the last sentence was perfection.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

Oh mama, I feel for you. It's so hard to let them go if only for brief moments. I'm so glad he's sharing all his fun with you though. :)

Cam | Bibs and Baubles said...

this is beautiful, just beautiful. hang in there mama. :)

Kimberly said...

That last sentence said it perfectly. I can't imagine what you're feeling, but you are so right. You are always in each other's hearts.

Jessica said...

I remember the first time my oldest was away from me for a week. It was so hard but I knew it would happen at some point. Hang in there.

Emmy said...

Awe glad he is having fun-- and don't worry I don't think he will have changed that much by the time he gets back :)

Ferly said...

What a sweet post! When my son started showing his independence, I wasn't ready for it to come that quickly either. It was a bittersweet Mommy moment and no doubt many more to come.

Thanks for visiting my blog! I hope to see you there again soon.

~ Ferly
Gifts We Use {to grow, love and serve}

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Jen said...

Oh my goodness...so sweet and a little sad! How long will he be gone for?

Nieves said...

How sweet your letter to Nathan, Barbara, it is a fact of life that children have to leave the nest some day, but if you a good job, you will always be close to them and that is what you are doing now. Nathan will come back so happy and excited about telling you all his new adventures. Be happy that he is enjoying so much!

LindyLouMac in Italy said...

Oh this is lovely Barbara, what fun your boys are going to have reading your blog when they are old enough.

Natalie said...

Awww this is so sweet! I know he had so much fun with daddy!

Shell said...

It had to be hard to be without him! Hope he had a wonderful time!

Stasha said...

Oh girl. Love reading about your love for your little firstborn!

janie said...

so bittersweet! i'm sure he can't wait to tell you about his adventures! =)

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