There are very few words that can describe the love you feel for your child as a first time mother. You wonder how your ever lived without that tiny little wonder in your life.
Everything is new and every smile or coo melts your entire heart. You wonder how could you ever love anything as much as you love that tiny little baby.
This was me with our first son. Every time I looked at him I swelled with pride and joy. I loved watching him grow and learn new things. His first words; his first steps...every milestone was properly recorded and embedded in my heart.
Then we found out we were pregnant with our second child, another boy. I was ecstatic and then the doubt set in.
How am I ever going to love a second child as much as I love Nathan? How could I possibly have all those feelings that I have now for Nathan? Will I choose a favorite?
These worries plagued my pregnancy. I couldn't help but wonder about how much our family, which seemed so perfect, would change so drastically. Could I handle it?
I spent my entire pregnancy trying to enjoy all of the solo time I could with Nathan. Making sure he knew that I loved him and that he was my entire heart.
Then Noah was born. The moment I held him in my arms, I knew. I finally understood what everyone had been telling me all along. You don't stop loving one child less. There is no competition. Your heart literally grows and expands. Not only do you make room for your new child but your love for your first child grows when you see him next to his brother- when you see the love that they will have for each other.
I wonder if this is how the Grinch felt when his heart grew?